yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
