at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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