Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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