Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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