the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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