dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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