I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
