Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize