I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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