dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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