coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
