that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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