Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
