well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
