Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
