I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
