I'm jealous of your bromance
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
