that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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