yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
