bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
