so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
