Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
