brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
