This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
