I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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