What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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