did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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