So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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