It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
