that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
