I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
