i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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