No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
