So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
