Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
