are you still at the devil's house?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Pants are for mortals
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
