Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
