I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
