I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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