Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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