At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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