So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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