Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
