Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
