He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
