We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize