just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
