Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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