so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Farmville is her only friend.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
