Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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