2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
