So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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