yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
meet me or not, i'm out of control
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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