Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
