So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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