I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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