I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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