So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
