My nipple is on Facebook.
I just threw up on my dentist
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
