she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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