the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He did a backflip because drugs
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