he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
